Friday, February 22, 2013

Conquering the Land of Smiles


I thank the Lord for the gift of life. I had the chance to deepen my understanding about life and prayer through the lesson that I am going to discuss with my students tomorrow. Once again I am reminded of how important prayer is, and that praying for my welfare alone does not please Him. Prayer is a contemplation of which I must be reflective of the condition of the people around me and those that truly matter. Lord, I get easily emotional lately. I get sad and melancholic instantly even when I just simply read a verse from a poem or a line or two from a song, and somehow I have a feeling that perhaps this is all because the start of my journey to Thailand is fast approaching. It is the thought of forthcoming moments of parting that truly makes me sad. Lord, there is never a day that I could not think about it. Every now and then, the thought of it crosses my mind and as the days go by, my excitement at first has now turned to doubt and anxiousness. You know so well Lord how much I try to be strong and take enough courage to keep my enthusiasm in tact especially at times when I am overwhelmed with doubt, doubt in myself if I can truly make it-that is to be able to succeed and live independently in a foreign land. I do not know what to expect at all. I am taking this risk. At times when doubts start to cloud my vision, I painstakingly try to remind myself of this. “I am steadfast in my resolve that I can do this, that for the first time ever in my life, I dare to do something beyond what I think I can possibly bear.” To live far away from my family for quite some time will definitely make me lonely and sad. My family is ultimately my home. My family is my security and they are my source of strength and inspiration. I cannot imagine how life would really be like not seeing them every day. How the care and warmth of my parents’ love in my low moments at work and in life in general can do great miracles! Thinking about it now makes my heart ache and it feels like I am breaking. I never really thought it would be this hard. 

But then, no matter how troubling I find the situation is, nothing can change the fact that I have already made the decision. I prayed for this and I asked God for His guidance and thankfully, through His Divine providence, I felt His yes in this life-changing endeavor that I will soon undertake. This is enough for me to keep on because I know I am not alone. If I set my eyes beyond my worries and acknowledge my inner strength, things will somehow work out positively and much bearably. I believe. The situation I am into right now and the feelings that come with it will work in me a greater revelation of who I really am. As I am held accountable to the choices I make in life, I have to face courageously the challenges ahead. 

Lord, I simply want to thank you in most sincerity for the wisdom, for the strength and courage, for sending me my family to inspire me and my friends who share the same aspirations with me. I will not be alone Lord. Your love will suffice, there is nothing more I need. You will never leave me in difficult circumstances. You will take this journey with me. You will love me still no matter what. You will see me through my pains and embrace me with your comforting and reassuring words of love and faithfulness. 

Lord, as I excitedly wait for that day to come, which will happen a month from now, my prayer is that I will be strong enough not to be weakened by my fears, but become stronger by your promises of prosperity, fulfillment, happiness, joy, peace, and bliss. There will be difficult times Lord, be with me. It will be only you and me Lord. Help me to find a good school Lord, that will understand and help me out in my adjustment period. A school Lord, where the teacher is given due respect and quality and fairness among colleagues live. A school with a good working environment and a house that is safe and secured from any danger. Lord, I know you will provide everything that I need to live decently, happily and contentedly in the course of my stay in Thailand. With my friends, bless us Lord with a smooth transition from our place of origin to our point of destination. Grant us the confidence and serenity of mind to successfully pass through the immigration without any hassle or inconveniences Lord. Bless our trip, most especially Lord. Keep us safe in our waking moments and until we yield in slumber. Lord, these are all my fervent prayers and intentions. Without you, this will all be nothing. You are the giver of all gifts, You are the master of our fates, and so with all my heart, I surrender to You oh Lord, my fears of what lies ahead with the hope, that You have already set nothing but the best for me, and for all of us. Take charge Lord God. Thy will be done.

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