the next time around...

Foundations of Great Love

"Great love is built on positive emotions, pleasurable rewards and mutual support. While trust is key which is common to friendships, romantic love is basically different in the quality of its emotions, pleasures and mutuality. Positive emotions sustain great love. Pleasurable rewards differentiate romantic love from friendship love. Most significantly, mutuality transforms friendship into true love."

I see greatly now the importance of 'friendship' as a very vital foundation in all relationships..  In friendship there is familiarity of another person's personality; the likes, interests, passions, and even goals and plans in life... these things can be found through 'real' friendship... and, in many ways, the recognition of all these things could greatly affect the success of the relationship- "romantic love."

Perhaps, one of the many reasons why love, I mean "romantic relationship" fail to work sometimes is because there is a lack of friendship in it...  if you think of love rooted in friendship, you could see more enjoyment and happiness shared together. there would be lesser expectations along the way... both partner will not be burdened with each other's presence... some things will not be dealt with 'too' seriously... there is freedom in the relationship... it is a state where, you will grow together and yet you are not losing your "you" in the process... there will be more understanding and acceptance.. both will discover there self 'fully' without taking the relationship at stake.. it is like growing independently yet together.. :) how nice the relationship could possibly be if it is viewed like this! i think there would be so much excitement because you believe that you will get to experience much of life with that person again. and again.. it will be the "bond" that will strengthen the relationship.. In friendship, there is openness. there will be no stain of pretension because there is acceptance... in that case, each person will not be restrained from whatever emotions... they will be free to be true... :) how wonderful it could be! :) love, should not be dealt with too seriously... it should be viewed as something that keeps you going despite life. it should be your driving force to life - in order to be happy!.. and when you love, spending time together is part and parcel of its success... there must be a sense of 'companionship.' no one is perfect, we are different in our unique ways... therefore, 'understanding' is the key to bridge this somehow 'gap' between two people... again,we all have a choice... it's all in the mind...

Sadly, I realized all these too late... :( had I known? of course, but not that deeply, perhaps.. but, everyone deserves a second chance right?... the next time around, I hope to be better... :) I want to enjoy my life because everything is just so temporary... 

there is so much in life... 

I believe, someone out there will make it with me!... in time...  

glad!

A lot has changed... things have become so different as to the way they were before... Funny how it seems that sometimes, it's the smallest decisions that can change our life forever... and it will always be for the better... :) 

In the coming days, I may not get to experience anymore the kind of thrill and excitement you once caused in my "everyday" in the past... but I've got to head on and thank you even, because only then that I could get to taste the joy and the happiness the rest of the world has to offer!... to someone just like me... I can't help but wonder so much about you once in a while... on how far you have changed too for the better! but I am sure you are doing great, I think better than I. :) of course, that is very certain.... and I would continue to admire you for that... :)

It's been a while, and I am glad...  glad to say that now... each waking day is better than the previous one... it is because indirectly, you helped me through....thank you! :)

one step at a time

You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on. ~Oprah Winfrey

Admittedly, I have painfully made so many wrong decisions in the past...  career and life in general... there were plenty of missed opportunities... :( I have had so many things to regret, so many "what ifs" and "if only." Now looking back, I think I have finally lost this confidence that somehow, I can still make things right and be able to make the right decision... I know there is no way that I can bring back the past and redo what I have failed to do. But, life has to move on! Now, somehow, I came to realize that life is not solely about either making the right and wrong decisions... It also tells us about how we stood up for our decisions... it is about being responsible to what we have thought and acted. It is not how you fail but how you stood up from a failure... It is what you have become after failing. The process is real hard. It is not easy to accept one's failure. It takes a lot of courage and humility to accept that you made a wrong move along the way... Because of pride, humans as we are, we have the tendency to blame other people as the cause of our misery... We distance our selves from the outcome and consider ourselves as victims instead. As a result, we harbor hate and grudges to people.. so all our lives we carry those hate and anger because we leave no more room for forgiveness and reconciliation... and yet, we fail to recognize that part and parcel of bringing our lives straight again and standing up after the failure is to forgive and move on... Some may consider it as one of life's harsh realities but the truth is, we have to forgive because it is the only way to move forward and that entails great humility to admit  that we- our selves is the co-creator of our misery.. it isn't easy.. it takes a lot of maturity... it is easier said than done. 

Now, it is hard to let myself get used to something I actually didn't wish to be into... I have to forgive myself for what I have failed to do... It weakens me to believe that I fail despite what I have done.. Every single day, I thought I have finally moved on, but there are just times when I wake up and feel like I haven't really moved even a single step closer to being 'okay.' This thought frightens me of the future... For now, bygones can't just be bygones... because it still haunt me... and to force my self to just completely forget about everything wouldn't be healthy... But certainly, I have stopped blaming anyone... I do not keep hate and grudge... I had forgiven them as I forgive myself... part of maturity is becoming responsible with ones thoughts and actions... And I should... I must be!  :) 

and moving on? slowly,.... I am getting there.... one step at a time...

what then?

How could the best things in life sometimes come at the wrong time and the only options are "grab it now!" or "never have it again." feeling so confused.... *sigh*

once in a while...

At times when I'm really down. I wish I'm sitting with you in a sofa or bench... my arms wrapped around you and holding your hand... hold you tight until I fall asleep.

left unspoken

"You hug him good-bye like it's nothing... while all you want to do is hold on forever...but you let go, smile and walk away... then cry all the way home because you know it will never be the same... because try as you might you can't make someone love you, sometimes you have to let them be free... and letting go, that... is when love hurts the most of all."

It saddens me to think of all the thoughts left unspoken... 

 

love doesn't hurt

 Everyone says LOVE HURTS, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

the truth is...

There are times when I get awfully tired of things.. Sometimes I feel like going somewhere far.. so far that no one will have a single clue about my being... somewhere serene... no traces of pains and heartaches... away from this stereotypical world... I wanna vanish! But then again, I realized that I must be strong amidst life's difficulties... But sometimes, I want to be weak... even just for once and be held by someone stronger...

in another lifetime

I could hold on for a hundred years

When all else is gone

I would still be here

In a memory of things yet unseen

I’d remember all that we’ve never been

And I cannot wait to see

What life has in store for me

In another lifetime

It would be forever

In another world

Where you and I

Could be together

In another set of chances

I’d take the one’s I’d missed

And make you mine

If only for a time

My life would matter

In another life

And I’d stay as strong and I’d stay as true

And you’d have forever now to think it through

Coz I believe what wasn’t meant to be

Wasn’t meant for now and

Someday you’ll see

In a place and time we never know

I’d be standing there waiting for you

You would be mine

But until that time is now

I’d be holding on somehow

But until that time

I’ll be holding onto forever

Until another life