Restless Heart

Whoah! I finally got a blog site… I honestly have this fascination in writing although I am considerably not a ‘good’ writer. I just feel the need nevertheless to have this stuff – a semi diary of mine which, I think will surely serve as an outlet of my outpouring emotions, wildest ideas, and craziest dreams.

Now that I am faced with a dilemma of what to do first so I think it would be so much better if my ‘first’ blog entry would be about myself, although I always have a hard time telling something about it. HAHA

Okay here it goes. I am GENEFE. To give a brief history of how my name came into existence, well it all started with the name JENNIFER. This is actually what my dear parents want to name me. However, the person who my parents entrusted to do the registry stuff for my birth made a mistake in writing my name so I have to live by a name GENEFER spelling check :(. The spelling was quite ridiculous although it still sounds the same as the ‘supposed’ one. So I live in that name in my entire elementary years. Later in my 6^th grade, when my teacher made a fuss about it, she asked for the true copy of my birth certificate and there! We found out that my name is GENEFE, letter ‘R’ typographical error something so questionable, therefore omitted!.. Ouch! :'( So when I entered high school, I felt like I was newly baptized because of my new name. Although my schoolmates in elementary still call me GENEFER. At first, I really find my name –weird plus the fact that people oftentimes mispronounce it gave me a hard time to accept it and love it anyway. But now, I am even thankful to that person who made my name a mistake because as it turns out, I find it so uncommon. I find it unique – one of a kind! Hahaha… Obviously I love my own!.. 

Moving on, I am the eldest in the family. I felt like I carried a huge responsibility when I was young. I became the substitute of my dear parents in looking out my siblings’ welfare. Just when I thought I was over with that responsibility as I and and my younger siblings grew older when I realized that I was wrong. I have to deal with different their uniqueness and so most of the time, I opted not to speak more to avoid ‘war.’ I think this is just common among siblings. I value my family above all things.

I am turning 24 this year. I am not getting any younger although I feel like I haven’t really matured… not yet? hahaha… Of course it takes a lot of experience to mature in many ways.

I am a proud TEACHER. I never really dreamed of becoming one. I wanted to become a doctor, a gynecologist to be specific. I just woke up one day and realized I was already caught up with my enrollment in the School of Education. I was too naive and didn;t know much about the world. So how did I become a teacher? I guess I have to blame to the angels in heaven who conspired make me become one. And I am so blessed  that I am. Passing the board exam for teachers was one of the ‘winning’ moments of my life.

I am introvert. This is actually one of the reasons why I come up with this blog. I love to wallow in my emotions. I am too sensitive with how I and others feel. Although, I hate confrontations. I’m too impersonal. I can express myself much more clearly through writing. Just like this!

I hate chaos, although not always organize.
I am time conscious but late sometimes.
I frequently change perspective.
I am random.
I am too sentimental! wheew!
I don't know how to cook, but I'd like to learn!
I hate washing the dishes. I enjoy doing the laundry instead.
I love to read.
I am a frustrated guitarist.
I complain but still do it anyway.
I feel alone most of the time but not lonely.
I am simple yet complicated.
I go to church.
I don’t keep grudges.
I treasure people.
I am so full of insecurities.
I am perfectly flawed!
I dream a lot! –mostly wishful thinking.

Above all, I am a woman with dreams and a heart to fulfill them. Slowly, I am taking each step one at a time. My ultimate happiness? It’s just about to unfold. Right now, life is just getting better and better! :)

Ultimately, I am still in the in dire search of my life's real purpose... this I think is the story behind the -  restless heart.. :)