will of the wind

I spent half my life
Looking at the reasons things must change.
And half my life trying to make them stay the same.
But love would fade like summer into fall;
All that I could see was a mystery,
It made no sense at all.

The will of the wind, you feel it and then,
It will pass you blowing steady.
It comes and it goes, and God only knows,
You must keep your sails on ready.
So when it begins, get all that you can;
You must befriend the will of the wind.

I spent so many hours
Just thinking about the way things might have been.
And so many hours trying to bring the good times back again.
And so it goes for lonely hearted fools;
They let their days slip away,
Until they give into...

Each in her own way so brave, so determined, and so very desperate. Desperate to venture out, but afraid of what she'll miss when she goes. Desperate to get everything she wants, even when she's not exactly sure of what that is. Desperate for life to be perfect again, although she realizes it never really was. Desperate for a better future, if she can find a way to escape her past.

If you forget me...

I want you to know
one thing. 

You know how this is:  
if I look 
at the crystal moon, at the red branch 
of the slow autumn at my window, 
if I touch 
near the fire 
the impalpable ash 
or the wrinkled body of the log, 
everything carries me to you, 
as if everything that exists, 
aromas, light, metals, 
were little boats 
that sail 
toward those isles of yours that wait for me. 

Well, now,  
if little by little you stop loving me 
I shall stop loving you little by little. 

If suddenly  
you forget me 
do not look for me, 
for I shall already have forgotten you. 

If you think it long and mad,  
the wind of banners 
that passes through my life, 
and you decide 
to leave me at the shore 
of the heart where I have roots, 
remember 
that on that day, 
at that hour, 
I shall lift my arms 
and my roots will set off 
to seek another land. 

But  
if each day, 
each hour, 
you feel that you are destined for me 
with implacable sweetness, 
if each day a flower 
climbs up to your lips to seek me, 
ah my love, ah my own, 
in me all that fire is repeated, 
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, 
my love feeds on your love, beloved, 
and as long as you live it will be in your arms 
without leaving mine. 

--Pablo Neruda 

at times...

Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small, like when we do a bad thing for a good reason. Some are bigger like when we let down a friend. Some of us escape the pains of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret because were looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past, and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change our ways. But our biggest regrets are not for the things we did but for the things we didn't do, things we didn't say that could have saved someone we care about. Especially when we can see the dark storm that's headed their way. 

-One Tree Hill 

wait...

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:

Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,

and the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait”.

“Wait? You say, wait!,” my indignant reply.

“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By Faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate,

hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT?

I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,

or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe

we need but to ask, and we shall receive.

Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:

I’m weary of asking! I need a reply!”

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

and grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting...for what?”

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,

and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.

You would have what you want - But, you wouldn’t know Me.”

“You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;

You’d not know the power that I give to the faint;

You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;

You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there;

You’d not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence were all you could see.”

“You’d never experience that fullness of love

as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;

You’d know that I give and I save...(for a start),

But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

“The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that’s beyond getting just what you asked

of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.”

“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that “My grace is sufficient for Thee.”

“Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true.

But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I’m doing in you!

So, be silent, My Child, and in time you will see,

that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.”

“And though oft’ may My answers seem terribly late.

My most precious answer of all is still ...WAIT.

wildflower

She's faced the hardest times

you could imagine

and many times her eyes fought back the tears

and when her youthful world

was about to fall in

each time her slender shoulders

bore the weight of all her fears

and a sorrow no one hears

still rings in midnight silence,

in her ears

Let her cry, for she's a lady

let her dream, for she's a child

let the rain fall down upon her

She's a free and gentle flower,

growing wild

and if by chance I should hold her

let me hold her for a time

but if allowed just one possession

I would pick her from the garden,

to be mine

Be careful how you touch her,

for she'll awaken

and sleep's the only freedom that she knows

and when you walk into her eyes,

you won't believe

the way she's always paying

for a debt she never owes

and a silent wind still blows

that only she can hear and so she goes

Let her cry, for she's a lady

let her dream, for she's a child

let the rain fall down upon her

She's a free and gentle flower,

growing wild

crossroads...

There are moments in our lives where we find ourselves at crossroads. Afraid, confused, without a road map. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us choose to turn around and go back. But once in a while, people push on to something better, something found just beyond the pain of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or give someone a second chance, something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when we're tested, that we discover who we are, that we discover who we can be. The person we can be does exist, beyond the hard work, faith, belief, and beyond the heartache, and fear of what lies ahead.